A Career Path to Motherhood?
I was doing some more thinking about what Professor Prenkert said about the debate surrounding the FMLA and other work/family balance issues. Is it as he suggested, a choice only for the upper middle class and above? I had never considered that issue, but the more time I spend thinking I believe that is the case. A senior at The George Washington University, Juliet Moser wrote an op-ed for the New York Times this week. In the piece, "A Letter to My Mother" (NYT Select, you can sign up for a free two week trial). Ms. Moser discusses her feelings on the work/family debate. She begins by saying that she wants "no ankle biters" (children) of her own, but later in the letter wonders if she will "wake up one day and decide that my 22-year old self was ridiculous and that I do want children--hordes of them?" She worries that if that does happen, it'll be too late. Ms. Moser believes that she'll lack the option to make the choice of having children after establishing herself professionally because "opting out is the domain of a privileged few." Another point that Ms. Moser makes I found especially interesting. She refers to the increasing number of well-educated women who plan to spend only a few years in the workplace and wonders what effect that has on women like her who plan to remain childless. She asks if employers will consider her as a "flight risk" and limit her the opportunities needed for advancement in a career because she has the ability to bear children.
The phenomenon of well-educated women leaving (or never entering) the workplace is analyzed in an article mentioned by Ms. Moser and published in the NYT in 2005. The article "Many Women at Elite Colleges Set Career Path to Motherhood" (again, NYT Select) describes a study of female students at top universities in the United States. Sixty percent of those interviewed said that they planned to stop working entirely or cut back on work when they had children. Of that 60%, half planned to stop entirely and half planned to work part time. Many of those interviewed were planning on attending graduate school and then becoming full-time mothers. They believed it was impossible to be a professional and a good mother.
What are your thoughts? Is it possible to combine both jobs (career & children) or does a total choice need to be made between the two to succeed?
The phenomenon of well-educated women leaving (or never entering) the workplace is analyzed in an article mentioned by Ms. Moser and published in the NYT in 2005. The article "Many Women at Elite Colleges Set Career Path to Motherhood" (again, NYT Select) describes a study of female students at top universities in the United States. Sixty percent of those interviewed said that they planned to stop working entirely or cut back on work when they had children. Of that 60%, half planned to stop entirely and half planned to work part time. Many of those interviewed were planning on attending graduate school and then becoming full-time mothers. They believed it was impossible to be a professional and a good mother.
What are your thoughts? Is it possible to combine both jobs (career & children) or does a total choice need to be made between the two to succeed?
posted by stevie at
3:09 PM
3 Comments:
Personally, I think its possible to have both. More women are taking on high profile jobs and that shouldn't mean they should have to choose. I'm sure this sounds idealistic, but as more women who want to have a balance between work and family come together, I think the ways will change. I want to be an OB/GYN and be a mother someday. I have had people ask me, "So, you don't want to raise your kids?" or say to me, "OB/GYN is no place for a woman who wants to have a family. You should really think about Dermatology or Radiology." Yet women in my future field are changing the way it works. There are more women OB/GYNs beginning to practice and they are forming Group Practices so all the women can achieve that balance between work and family. Hours can be set and weekend shifts are set on a rotation.
I know not everyone in our class wants to be a doctor (let alone an OB/GYN - ha ha) but if that field is changing, currently, I can't believe that others won't follow.
I agree with Kelley and believe that it is possible to have both a career and children, but there are definitely certain careers where balancing both would be made easier than others. Personally, I would not be willing to completely give up a career to devote myself to child care, but at the same time I would not want my children to be raised by babysitters. I suppose I believe that you can have both a career and children, however the ability to advance in a career may be negatively impacted by a desire to be a more present mother, as you may be able to commit yourself less to tasks then someone else who does not have children.
I take Valerie's question at the end of her post not to be literal. Clearly, it is possible to have a career and have children. Millions of working parents do it everyday. I take her question to focus more on the issue of "success" that she mentions. This is, of course, a tough question, especially because pinning down just what constitutes "success" can prove remarkably elusive. That's even more true when measuring successful parenting, where objective benchmarks are few and far between and "success" can be hugely relative to the particular child (e.g., the something that is routine to a normal developing child can be the source of significant feelings of "success" to the parent of a child with special needs).
Can a parent who is focused, at least in part, on his or her career success be present and involved in his or her children's lives to the same extent that he or she would be without any career or career aspirations? Maybe, but I sure haven't figured out that balance and I happen to have a job that allows me significantly more flexibility in terms of when I have to work as about anyone. (Those of you who've gotten 3 a.m. e-mails from me understand what I mean.) And can a parent who highly values being "present" in nearly all aspects of his or her children's lives be as devoted to his or her work as a non-parent would be. Probably, but at the expense of personal hobbies, sleep, and the like.
Careers and parenting are both incredibly time intensive endeavors. It seems to me something inevitably has to give to fit them both. Often some of that give comes from other parts of one's life, like the aforementioned hobbies and sleep. But, I must confess that time and again my wife and I have to make choices between the two, because the "give" of not going to the movie theater or only sleeping 3 hours a few nights a week or saying no to a tennis match or deciding that the landscaping doesn't have to look so great can't erase all the work time/family time conflicts that arise.
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